You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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