I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize