woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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