When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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