Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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