You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
