I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
