I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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