I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
