If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
