nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
