You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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