please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
