I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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