We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
