Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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