in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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