so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
