U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
