I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
