I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
