If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
