all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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