you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
