Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
