Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
