his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
