dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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