yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize