Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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