I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
