happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize