All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
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I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
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my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house