i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks