Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing