i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society