Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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