Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
