If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What should our trivia night team be named?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?