Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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  (323): Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch. http://tfl.nu/9pbk
  Replies (29) Good night (2063) Bad night (651)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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  (229): whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says http://tfl.nu/6xum
  Replies (47) Good night (1588) Bad night (5678)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?

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  (863): During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart? http://tfl.nu/3xgk
  Replies (26) Good night (7496) Bad night (1242)
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  (714): View more from California

  why do cheetos always look like penises

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  (714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3798) Bad night (1456)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.

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  (505): i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat. http://tfl.nu/gqde
  Replies (96) Good night (1646) Bad night (7813)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

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  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (61) Good night (19179) Bad night (2133)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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  (201): just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit. http://tfl.nu/jcis
  Replies (16) Good night (4945) Bad night (1732)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.

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  (781): I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance. http://tfl.nu/3nuq
  Replies (3) Good night (3103) Bad night (863)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea

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  (229): I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea http://tfl.nu/nypc
  Replies (10) Good night (911) Bad night (3140)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.

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  (860): They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/lsvs
  Replies (4) Good night (2450) Bad night (926)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent

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  (937): Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent http://tfl.nu/u4ks
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (445)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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  (270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (1114)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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  (+44): Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off. http://tfl.nu/1dmr
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (298)
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  (315): View more from New York

  In other news, I just burned my penis

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  (315): In other news, I just burned my penis http://tfl.nu/q4ky
  Replies (7) Good night (392) Bad night (902)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.

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  (412): Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants. http://tfl.nu/2i1x
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (323)

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