Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
