Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week

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(734): Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week http://tfl.nu/r1k8

Replies (7) Good night (784) Bad night (1185)
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(562): View more from California

omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

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(562): omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever. http://tfl.nu/2p77

Replies (292) Good night (29861) Bad night (13515)
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(817): View more from Texas

why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

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(817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi

Replies (12) Good night (2479) Bad night (573)
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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew

Replies (13) Good night (567) Bad night (2480)
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(970): View more from Colorado

she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.

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(970): she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society. http://tfl.nu/p2lg

Replies (74) Good night (803) Bad night (2717)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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(570): I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it. http://tfl.nu/aapx

Replies (26) Good night (3573) Bad night (962)
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(313): View more from Michigan

then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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(313): then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito http://tfl.nu/szdu

Replies (33) Good night (4867) Bad night (725)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

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(928): I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos. http://tfl.nu/xt2r

Replies (23) Good night (4311) Bad night (842)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

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(732): test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/cfpm

Replies (7) Good night (1406) Bad night (1865)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.

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(605): The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere. http://tfl.nu/hx43

Replies (6) Good night (2288) Bad night (1252)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here

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(503): i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here http://tfl.nu/1c81

Replies (5) Good night (811) Bad night (1120)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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(574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498

Replies (2) Good night (1986) Bad night (424)
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(351): View more from Massachusetts

I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.

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(351): I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh. http://tfl.nu/v1ee

Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (413)
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(334): View more from Alabama

She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper

(205): View more from Alabama

Restraining order pending?

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(334): She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper (205): Restraining order pending? http://tfl.nu/xpcn

Replies (6) Good night (1273) Bad night (516)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

I didn't get it..

(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm sorry. But to the original question please.

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(859): So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong. (1-859): I didn't get it.. (859): I'm sorry. But to the original question please. http://tfl.nu/67d3

Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (850)

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