How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.