thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And then my night got REAL pukey
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
