Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize