Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There's always time for handjobs
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
