I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
