my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
