why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
