Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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