she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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