dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Someone signed my nipple.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
