he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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