what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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