Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
