I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
