She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
