I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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