My hand turned me down
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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