She said her name was "party"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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