just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
