I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Mom said you looked used
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
