i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize