Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
